Dear God

Hey God...good night, it's been a long time since the last time I have an intimate relationship with You and have a deep interaction and chat with You.

I don't know am I still deserve Your attention and love or not.
I've been so naughty, so stubborn...so bad, not a good child of Yours, maybe I'm the worst...

At this time...please let me share a short story of mine, about what happened with my life lately and what I feel.


Dear God...there's a lot of time, I feel so tired. I don't know what I suppose to do and what's my purpose. I wanna do this and I wanna do that, there's a lot of things in my mind. There's a lot of times I ask You, what do You want me to do? But I don't know, why I can't hear Your voice, maybe there's a lot of noise around me, a lot of distractions so I can't listen to You.

Sometimes I feel so tired and just wanna stop, stop trying to reach what I want, some people say, stop trying to chase my dream, my destiny and my purpose, because it's a mistake...

Sometimes I just wanna stop the time, take a moment for myself to think and asking myself again...what do you really wanna do hey poor little girl?

I feel so lost and I feel so hollow...I don't know am I do the right thing or not. I do feel Your companionship along my journey and I can feel You so real, really love and bless me. But at the same time, this soul also asking, why do You never talk directly to me? I miss You God, I miss to know You more and this heart is getting colder and this soul is getting numb...

I feel so tired and overwhelmed right now...

I really don't know what I should do, too tired to pretending that I'm strong because I don't...too tired to smile when the only thing that I wanna do is crying...this little girl is very fragile and she doesn't have another shelter and shoulder to cry on...she's only can depend on You, because she has no one...feel so lonely at the crowds...people said this girl has a lot of friends, does she? Only she knows the answer...this soul has been hurt for so long so she doesn't know how to fix it, how to repair it...some people said she's a damaged goods...so ironic, behind her cheerful spirit and smiles, she hides a lot of painful stories...

There's one friend of her said, you just have to live your life and enjoy every moment, yes she does...but she can't lie that she feels so tired, it just too much...so overwhelming...

Dear God...can You hear me? Can you hear me and see that I cry deep inside?

Please...show me what do You really want, please help me to listen to Your voice...please my dear God...I beg You at this time...

From your beloved daughter,
T
26 February 2014